September 8, 2024
For weeks, I have been trying to get my thoughts together to write a blog. But my head has been swirling. I can’t seem to keep up, even with voracious reading and podcast listening. I am in the middle of three books, a dozen podcasts I follow religiously, a daily review of news sites, and a Netflix documentary series. It’s exhausting and there is so much coming at us. Emotions are high all around us with the US Election, the...
July 7, 2024
It seems like hardly a day goes by that I don’t find myself shocked and saddened by yet another story on Christian Nationalism, a Supreme Court ruling, or the antics of Donald Trump. Through my (self-admitted) steady diet of social media, podcasts, and liberal-leaning news, I am always consuming another story about threats to democracy and the scary arc toward fascism. All too often, I find myself anxious and defensive. Just as so many do, I frequently want to respond...
June 4, 2024
Are you tired? Cause I’m tired. Downright exhausted. A few minutes on social media is a wild ride of vitriol. A few minutes on the news provides enough horror and sadness to leave anyone depressed for days. And all of politics leaves me feeling nauseated. I’m not only exhausted by the overall content and tone of all of the attacks and comments, I am so deeply sad. Sad because the faith that I grew up with has been co-opted into...
May 16, 2024
I sat on the small sofa across from my therapist, a former pastor who left the church to become a counselor, and explained my heartache with organized religion and my experience with the church. The church we left had disappointed me with their response during COVID (holding large gatherings at the peak of the second wave and declining to encourage mask use); their refusal to allow women in leadership/pastoral roles; and their viewpoint on LGBTQ issues. Broader than that was...
March 17, 2024
“Dr. Hartwell…”, he said. “Your behavior yesterday was not very ‘lady-like'”. I heard those words nearly 15 years ago as a chief resident, from a senior (male) surgeon, the patriarch of the program, who had pulled me aside after an educational conference, specifically to reprimand me for comments I made the day prior, in defense of a junior resident who had been asked to perform duties outside of her scope of training. I admit that my frustration about the situation...
February 24, 2024
Last week in Kansas City, what was supposed to be the celebration of the year for the Kansas City Chief’s Super Bowl win, turned deadly when gunfire erupted in a crowd estimated to be near one million revelers. One woman died and nearly two dozen people were injured, many of them children. Our city, indeed our nation and the world, were shocked and horrified. 800 armed officers on the scene couldn’t stop this tragedy. Lives will forever be changed by...
December 31, 2023
“Our decision is based on your depression.” I can’t say I was surprised, but I was disappointed and saddened to read these words in a rejection letter for the supplemental disability insurance policy I applied for through my workplace. In January of 2023, I went for a routine physical exam with my new primary care doctor, and I screened positive for depression. After discussing my options with her, we decided that a low-dose SSRI in combination with high-quality therapy would...
December 22, 2023
I recently took care of a patient who went out of his way to thank for me crouching next to his bedside to speak to him. “I like you,” he said. “Actually, I don’t just like you, I trust you. You didn’t stand over me like some ‘lord’ like most people do. You got down and looked me in the eye.” It’s true. I did. His bed seemed to be extra low to the ground and for some reason my...
November 5, 2023
So here’s my hot take: As a Christian, I don’t believe America is a Christian nation, nor do I want it to be one. Christian Nationalism is a threat to democracy and is antithetical to the teachings of Jesus. There is a lot to unpack here! So let’s take it one bite at a time. “As a Christian” What does it even mean to be a Christian? This is a question I have been significantly wrestling with recently. The term...
October 18, 2023
“You ok?”, my husband asked. “You said you’ve felt a little…angsty…lately.” Yeah. I’m ok. And yeah, angsty is probably the right word. I’m a Gen X girl. Angst is the stamp of my life. Let’s see…we have Russia still pummeling Ukraine; Hamas killing innocent Israelis and Israel creating a humanitarian crisis in Gaza. We have firearm violence as the number one killer of children in the United States and a House so divided they cannot even complete a simple junior...