Posts
July 12, 2020
One of our greatest human needs is love. Abraham Maslow put that into perspective for us nearly 80 years ago when he published his theory on the hierarchy of needs. After some food, water, and shelter, before we can achieve self-esteem and realize who we are and what we are meant to be… we need love. His theory has undergone some criticism over the years, but it’s hard to argue that we don’t need love as relatively foundational to achieving...
April 22, 2020
This COVID thing fascinates me on so many levels. As a surgeon…how the virus affects my patients and how we safely operate on those infected; as a researcher…how we study and learn about the disease; as a wife and mother… how I am protecting my family; and as a leader…how my team, my work community, is impacted physically, emotionally, financially, mentally. I have received dozens of texts, calls, emails, and social media messages asking, “How are you?” “Are you safe?”...
January 2, 2020
The baby is 10 years old now and our firstborn is off to college. I have been done with my professional training for 9 years. We crossed the 20 year threshold in our marriage. We made it. All is well. Right? Right… For so many years, I have moved from one major milestone to the next…high school, college, grad school…marriage, kids, launch the first child…first job, promotion, executive leadership… Now what? Maybe I have lost my view of the next...
November 9, 2019
While away from the office the other week, spending some time with friends, I opened my work email (perhaps my first mistake) and found a message with a semi-urgent tone, requesting a project be expedited. A project that remains with unanswered questions and ongoing discussion that the original plan should be revised. I composed a panicked email, then deleted it. Then wrote another email and showed it to my husband and friends, and then deleted it. Finally, I replied, “I...
September 13, 2019
“I know you are incredibly busy, so I hesitated to even send this to you…” I read those words and lowered my eyes. Sad. My student who I have been working with for years now, concerned she would be cluttering my inbox. She simply wanted some feedback on a very short document. “I know you are super busy, so just call when you have a chance.” My own mother taking deference to my hectic schedule. “How’s your morning going? Let...
July 31, 2019
The other week, I found myself in a humid hotel café in Saba, Honduras, sipping blazing hot, very dark coffee. Too cheap to pay for the international plan for my cell phone, I was soaking up some WiFi before the work of the day with my mission partners from Children of Soledad. I mindlessly scrolled through the US news sites and read about current events back home. Suddenly, from my dusty Honduran vantage point, I was pierced by the words...
May 8, 2019
An email came to my inbox a few months ago advertising an internal position having nothing to do with surgery. I deleted it. Then through a meandering path of conversations, in person and on Twitter, with friends and colleagues both at home and away, I had a change of heart. Something compelled me to desperately dig through my deleted emails until I found this one. I felt a little nauseous dragging it back to my active inbox. I let it...
March 12, 2019
When my kids were little(r), I always insisted they say “thank you”. For everything. “Now, what do you say….?” C’mon parents…you know exactly what I am talking about, right? Every little piece of candy/sticker/trinket. Sheepish look and a whispered “thank you” will suffice. So…what about us now? Why don’t we say “thank you” like we should? Like we always used to? I guess no one is breathing down our necks like they did when we were kids. So we slide...
February 7, 2019
Fatigue, burnout, distress. Well-being, self-care, resilience. Tools. Prevention. Resources. Mindfulness. Yoga. Balance. This. Is. Exhausting. I’ve heard talk after talk at national meetings on burnout over the past few weeks. And months. And, well…years. And we are still talking about it. And we are still burned out. We are doing this wrong… I’m preparing my own talk on burn out. And I’m struggling to say anything new. But I promised myself I wouldn’t just say what’s been said before because...
December 30, 2018
Just a week ago, he was driving long distances to the grave of his long since deceased wife…to pay his respects, to tell her he loves her…again. Now, he is helpless and confused, clinging to life in the ICU after a terrible car accident. His family, exhausted by the days of worrying and rapid changes in his status, has gone home to rest. Suddenly, his heart is racing wildly, his blood pressure drops precipitously. “Can you meet me at the...