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May 6, 2023
I got the chance to talk to a dear friend this morning. We are both surgeons, wives, and moms. We talk about our kids, our work, our marriages. And we talk about our faith. Or what’s left of it anyway. We both grew up in similar types of churches and shared a good number of similar conservative beliefs. But throughout the last few years, we have both been searching in our faith journey. Questioning, leaning in in some areas, and...
April 22, 2023
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” –Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride. Blessed. We throw that word around a lot, but I’m not always certain we really grasp what it means. Or the depth of what it could mean. The English language, bless its heart, consistently gives us one word for something that in another language would have multiple words to describe a range of rich meanings. Think about the word...
April 15, 2023
I’m still in Matthew 5, still in the Beatitudes. And gonna be here for a while. There is a lot to digest. I promised you I would show you my messy parts here because I know my messy parts are not unique to me. So buckle up, let’s talk about our hard stuff, and grow together. I am a people pleaser. I mean, to the Nth degree. I want people to like me. Even people who don’t really know me....
April 9, 2023
A few days ago, our youngest son, Sam, asked if we were going to church on Sunday. We haven’t gone to church on a Sunday morning in about three years (save for Christmas Eve service with extended family), so I was curious where this question came from. Sam attends a non-denominational youth group-like gathering with some of his school buddies. Think: Young Life as we had in high school. While I have my reservations about organizations such as these, I...
April 8, 2023
One of the first things I have had to do in this journey is let go of searching for the “one right thing” and learn to live in the messy middle, the grey zone, the gauzy center. I was raised in a conservative Baptist church and school from birth to age 12 or 13, then we moved to a more contemporary Methodist church. (Much more to come on all of this in future posts). But needless to say, my very...
April 7, 2023
I wasn’t going to do this. No need to hash this out in public. But as I have been wrestling for more than a year now about my journey with (away from?) the church, and the more I realize that many others are doing the same, I wondered if we could learn from each other…so I’m keeping an open journal of this journey. Background: In summary, the 2016 election followed by the response to COVID massively disrupted my faith in...
May 11, 2022
TL;DR: Stay curious. The abortion issue is actually very complicated. Be humble. Listen. Be willing to be uncomfortable in the conversation. As a matter of background, I grew up in the church and had always identified as Republican and pro-life. I questioned little and took it at face value that “abortion is murder, murder is wrong, we have to end abortion”. I remember attending a Rally for Life for the local Right to Life chapter. And pinning a small paper...
April 27, 2022
I’ve been listening to a podcast about the fall of Mars Hill, an evangelical megachurch, and its volatile lead pastor, Mark Driscoll. As I was listening, I noticed I started to feel quite uneasy. Anxious. My heart rate ticked up. My breathing was a little faster. I felt a lump in my throat. A tenseness in my shoulders. I noticed the same feeling when I happened to see a pastor from the church we have just left at my son’s...
July 31, 2019
The other week, I found myself in a humid hotel café in Saba, Honduras, sipping blazing hot, very dark coffee. Too cheap to pay for the international plan for my cell phone, I was soaking up some WiFi before the work of the day with my mission partners from Children of Soledad. I mindlessly scrolled through the US news sites and read about current events back home. Suddenly, from my dusty Honduran vantage point, I was pierced by the words...
May 8, 2019
An email came to my inbox a few months ago advertising an internal position having nothing to do with surgery. I deleted it. Then through a meandering path of conversations, in person and on Twitter, with friends and colleagues both at home and away, I had a change of heart. Something compelled me to desperately dig through my deleted emails until I found this one. I felt a little nauseous dragging it back to my active inbox. I let it...