Category
June 27, 2017
I’m not really one who appreciates failure very much. I’m pretty used to working very hard for the things that I want and generally reaching some degree of success. It may be luck, it may be hard work, but in the end, I usually feel like I am successful in the things I put my mind to. But this time…it was different. Failure smacked me in the face. I was angry and frustrated and disappointed and sad…and very, very thankful....
May 26, 2017
I seem to be struggling with shoes recently. From broken to poorly chosen to missing altogether, I just can’t get myself (or the kids) appropriately prepared to safely navigate the day’s activities. About a week ago, in our usual state of Hartwell Family April Spring Sports Madness, Scott took one kid to practice and I took the other to the grocery. They had been playing at the neighbor’s house, so I drove down the street to grab Ben and whisk...
April 18, 2017
Yesterday, I came home from work a little early. I just simply could not. do. it. any. longer. Total exhaustion. I wandered around the house aimlessly, in a fog. While trying to get my younger boys ready for the Cub Scouts Pack meeting, I mumbled my words…or couldn’t find words altogether…they got lost somewhere in my head and I couldn’t get them out of my mouth. “C’mon boys! Put on the…you know…the thing. That…whatever it’s called…” I faded quickly at...
February 6, 2017
I’ve been making these chocolate chip cookies for 25 years. These cookies have traveled from my hometown of Troy, Ohio, to my alma mater, Miami University; to Clarksville, Hopkinsville, Villa Park, Chicago, Memphis, New Albany, Columbus, and Indianapolis; they have a connection to Jamaica and Lima, Peru. They have fed hungry tummies, lonely hearts, homeless souls and the sickest of the sick. They show up when the spirit and the stomach need nourishment. When I was in med school, exhausted and...
December 24, 2016
It’s Christmas Eve in my parents’ house. My brother and I have descended upon their space with our spouses and children; with suitcases, bags, and toys; from baby bottles to teenage ambivalence, we are all hunkered down in the warmth of their home, taking turns in the bathroom and bumping into each other in the kitchen. As per tradition, we have a meal and go to church together on Christmas Eve, at the church where we grew up. And sometime...
December 1, 2016
The elderly woman we had been taking care of in the ICU looked younger than her stated age. But her medical history on paper was more consistent with her 79 years…the heart failure, the diabetes, the chronic lung disease. She managed to fight for three days before the exhaustion from the work of her breathing overcame her and she had to have a breathing tube placed. She spent the first night anxious and breathing rapidly. She sent her heart rate...
October 13, 2016
This election cycle is really incredible. I mean, seriously. It’s a wild mix of comedy and tragedy. Everyone hates everyone. Both candidates are so profoundly flawed. And our world is in turmoil. There’s Syria and South Sudan. Closer to home, there’s racial tension and sexual aggression towards women. Republicans and Democrats alike are convinced that we are doomed if our respective candidate doesn’t win on November 8. It’s the train wreck we just can’t look away from. We are so stressed about...
October 1, 2016
Scott has been out of town on business. And while I miss him terribly, we are doing fine. We really are. As far as I am aware, the kids ate every meal this week. Some on the go, some with friends, and some standing around the kitchen, but they ate. And they bathed. At least a few times. They made it to school. And practices and games. The laundry is done. The dishwasher run. I was on call twice this...
September 13, 2016
I have a confession to make. While I am posting pictures of sunsets and palm trees on my social media accounts, deep down in my heart, I feel a little guilty for being here. I mean, I have to be here. I am presenting our research at this meeting, the most prestigious trauma surgical society in the world. It’s an honor to have the 4′ x 6′ space to display a poster and have 5 minutes of time to discuss our...
August 29, 2016
Saturday night was definitely not supposed to turn out like that! Scott and I and our two older kids hadn’t even made it to dinner when our poor babysitter back home was texting, asking how to troubleshoot the alarm that was going off. Our sweet sitter walked all over the house, pushing buttons and checking doors and smoke detectors. No fires. No broken windows. Just a loud alarm. We were sitting in traffic downtown, totally unaware that there was a Colts pre-game...