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June 4, 2024
Are you tired? Cause I’m tired. Downright exhausted. A few minutes on social media is a wild ride of vitriol. A few minutes on the news provides enough horror and sadness to leave anyone depressed for days. And all of politics leaves me feeling nauseated. I’m not only exhausted by the overall content and tone of all of the attacks and comments, I am so deeply sad. Sad because the faith that I grew up with has been co-opted into...
March 17, 2024
“Dr. Hartwell…”, he said. “Your behavior yesterday was not very ‘lady-like'”. I heard those words nearly 15 years ago as a chief resident, from a senior (male) surgeon, the patriarch of the program, who had pulled me aside after an educational conference, specifically to reprimand me for comments I made the day prior, in defense of a junior resident who had been asked to perform duties outside of her scope of training. I admit that my frustration about the situation...
February 24, 2024
Last week in Kansas City, what was supposed to be the celebration of the year for the Kansas City Chief’s Super Bowl win, turned deadly when gunfire erupted in a crowd estimated to be near one million revelers. One woman died and nearly two dozen people were injured, many of them children. Our city, indeed our nation and the world, were shocked and horrified. 800 armed officers on the scene couldn’t stop this tragedy. Lives will forever be changed by...
May 7, 2023
Warning: I am angry. Last night there was another mass shooting. This time in Texax (again). At least 8 dead, many others wounded. Unmeasured psychological trauma for the hundreds involved, lives forever changed for witnessing and responding to chaos and murder. Politicians literally copying and pasting their “thoughts and prayers” messages once again. It’s a chilling and disgusting cycle. Today’s reading is Matthew 6:5-15, The Lord’s Prayer. I’ve taken the liberty to give a modern spin on Jesus’ words. Hang...
April 30, 2023
We have arrived at a time in US history in which the ink isn’t even dry on one story of a mass shooting, and another one has happened. There are so many mass shootings, that we can’t recall the cities and places where they occur, we have to look them up. There are entire websites dedicated to collecting data and documenting the tragedies, one after the other. It’s a continuous news cycle of senseless death. Sadly, our American appetite for...
September 13, 2019
“I know you are incredibly busy, so I hesitated to even send this to you…” I read those words and lowered my eyes. Sad. My student who I have been working with for years now, concerned she would be cluttering my inbox. She simply wanted some feedback on a very short document. “I know you are super busy, so just call when you have a chance.” My own mother taking deference to my hectic schedule. “How’s your morning going? Let...
May 8, 2019
An email came to my inbox a few months ago advertising an internal position having nothing to do with surgery. I deleted it. Then through a meandering path of conversations, in person and on Twitter, with friends and colleagues both at home and away, I had a change of heart. Something compelled me to desperately dig through my deleted emails until I found this one. I felt a little nauseous dragging it back to my active inbox. I let it...
February 7, 2019
Fatigue, burnout, distress. Well-being, self-care, resilience. Tools. Prevention. Resources. Mindfulness. Yoga. Balance. This. Is. Exhausting. I’ve heard talk after talk at national meetings on burnout over the past few weeks. And months. And, well…years. And we are still talking about it. And we are still burned out. We are doing this wrong… I’m preparing my own talk on burn out. And I’m struggling to say anything new. But I promised myself I wouldn’t just say what’s been said before because...
December 30, 2018
Just a week ago, he was driving long distances to the grave of his long since deceased wife…to pay his respects, to tell her he loves her…again. Now, he is helpless and confused, clinging to life in the ICU after a terrible car accident. His family, exhausted by the days of worrying and rapid changes in his status, has gone home to rest. Suddenly, his heart is racing wildly, his blood pressure drops precipitously. “Can you meet me at the...
October 17, 2018
Delta and I have become good friends over the past year. Between a few special trips to celebrate weddings and anniversaries, and a few meetings for work, I have been in the air a lot this year. I know where the good restrooms are in ATL and DTW. I still loathe travel through SLC, but I found a new favorite in MSP. I have my routine down to a science. Always choose the aisle seat. Place the arm rest down,...