We recently received a mass email from our Department Chairman that included some updates and general information. Towards the end of the message, he explained that we should expect a meeting invitation for our annual, individual one-on-one meeting with him. He stated the four questions that he will ask, offering them in advance to allow each of us time to contemplate an answer. The last question was, “What are you working on and how can I help you?” I am thankful that I have a Chairman who would even propose such questions. That he would make the huge investment to meet with each of us…and there are a lot of us! So I have been pondering this question, and the others. It’s open ended…like a blank check. What could I ask for? More research support? More money? More time?
As I was talking it over with my husband, I started listing off the mundane, daily irritations of my job…we all have them. I want the paging system to work more reliably, I want the call schedule for the hospital system to be more accessible; I want to the OR to display the cases of the day in a different way, I want to be able to pull up CT scans in our conference room. He said, “You want your days to run easier.” Yes, yes I do. I don’t need large volume research funding, I don’t need more office space and extra administrative help. I need tomorrow to be a little easier. I need the little frustrations to melt away.
His quip comes from a song by Dawes, “If I Wanted Someone” where they sing, “I want you to make the days move easy.” While we can all think of grandiose things to fill in the blank on the check, what we really desire is the everyday easy. As I have been thinking about this for the past several days, it occurred to me that this idea of making someone’s days move easy is really a definition of love. And it’s a definition that transcends all types of love…my neighbors and friends, my patients…my children and my husband.
After 20 years of marriage, sometimes the mundane takes over. The kids’ schedules, work, the grocery and the laundry and the housework. We grow impatient with one another, expecting more and giving less. We get tired and frustrated and overwhelmed. We say, “I love you”, and we mean it. But sometimes the words aren’t enough. What really demonstrates his love is what he does that makes my life easier. He fills my car tank with gas, he grabs my pajamas off the floor while I’m in the shower and puts them in the laundry; he sees my To-Do list sitting on the table and he crosses one off–he calls the pediatrician and makes the appointment. He sees the little things that, if they are cared for, make my life easier.
Jesus tells us to love our neighbor, but that’s kind of abstract. Does that mean we walk across the lawn, knock on the door, and profess our love for our driveway sharing buddy? Does He mean that we should give away our money or our resources? Maybe. But surely He means, if we love our neighbor, we will find ways to make his life easier. We will be attentive enough to know what it is that weighs her down…and we will step in, and take that from her. We will see the fatigue in our co-worker, the frustration in the stranger at the store, the fear in the eyes of our children. And we will take a minute, to do that which is small, but makes someone’s life easier. And that, my friend, well I believe that is love.
Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.
