Seriously. I want to do it all. Every morning, I get up, make my coffee, read, and head into work. I sit in the morning check-out conference with my Handy-Dandy notebook, full of Post-It Note lists of all the things I want to do. We have discussed this before. I want to schedule appointments (eye doctor and PCP and dog grooming), work on my research, arrange for a family picture, apply for a grant, go to the grocery; I want to run and cook and clean; I need to get my ring fixed (broken prong); I need an oil change; the kids need haircuts and new clothes and pretty soon, school supplies. And somehow, I convince myself that I can accomplish all of those things…In. One. Day.
Today, I scrambled into work and rushed to catch up on some charts and billing. Then rushed off to the OR for a case I planned weeks ago. Then rushed off to meet a friend for coffee. Then rushed to the library, cause we need library cards. Today. Cause that’s on the list. And while I was at the library, I found fliers/cards advertising the community movie night, the free beer 5K, the free town concerts, and the farmer’s market. And I want to do all of them! Then I rushed home. And grabbed the kids and rushed to the pool. Where the boys played nicely for a minute, and then I found them literally throwing each other down in the baby pool, dangerously close to crushing their pediatric skulls against the floor/walls of the delightful zero-entry pool meant for children half their age. Because: brothers. “I’m bored. And hungry! Let’s go home!” Really? I only got to tan on one side; I was planning on being here another 30 minutes so I could evenly crisp my back side. Because “even tan” is on my list. Ugh!
I want to eat the leftover salmon from the weekend cookout with my parents; and it will go perfectly with the leftover quinoa from the lunch at Rosie’s. Because I don’t want to waste it! And then I want to run. I have a 5.5 mile route mapped out. But about 2 miles in, I realized that leftover salmon and 82 degree runs don’t really belong together. And I’ll just leave it at that.
So I came home from what turned out to be more of a walk than a run, and sat on the front porch and sipped on my water, and I realized that some of my days are like cheap buffets. Where I gorge myself on low-quality entrees, but miss out on the rich delicacies of life. I looked at the list. And decided that several things could wait. Or even get scratched off altogether. I threw away a few fliers. And crossed off a few appointments (we just had family pictures last year; and I don’t need to spend the money).
Our appetites for accomplishment are often times larger than our precious lives can handle. More and more and more on the To-Do list doesn’t make me feel accomplished; it makes me feel gross. Burping up the excess of “check it off”, all the while feeling empty of “time well spent”. I don’t write these words because I have figured it out or done it well; I need to spend more time “off the list”. Us Type A/First Born folks have a hard time with this one. Hold me accountable, friends. The buffet tastes good going down…the “check, circle, done” is awesome in the moment. It’s the after taste…the looking back and the bitter flavor of missed “time well spent” that makes me feel so nauseated.
So let’s back off from the buffet of life’s “to-do’s”. We could all stand to go on a diet…
Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.
