The baby is 10 years old now and our firstborn is off to college. I have been done with my professional training for 9 years. We crossed the 20 year threshold in our marriage. We made it. All is well. Right? Right…

For so many years, I have moved from one major milestone to the next…high school, college, grad school…marriage, kids, launch the first child…first job, promotion, executive leadership… Now what? Maybe I have lost my view of the next finish line…it’s so far in the distance… have I lost my way there?

It’s been a matter of weeks in which I have learned about two friends from my childhood who have moved on from their marriages. We haven’t remained close…social media voyeurs and connections via other friends and family. I took on a sadness, for reasons, at first, I couldn’t explain. Maybe it was the mourning of the dream that we all married the loves of our youth and lived happily ever after; maybe it was the feeling of vulnerability that comes from realizing I had brushed up against their story myself a few years ago; maybe it was the understanding that every one of us looks so certain and so strong from a distance, yet we have hearts that are broken and wounds that are open. Their stories, at first, seemed abrupt to me. But I know better. I know these moments, these soul searching, hurting, confused, painful moments are weeks and months and years in the making.

My own BIG moment came a few years ago…and I named it while in the company of a dearest friend, both of us figuring out our torturous journey to the next milestone. We were at a professional conference and in the name of saving a few bucks, decided to share a hotel room. Late at night, laying in our beds, sharing stories and hopes and dreams and memories…and tears and confusion and feelings and hurt…we laughed and cried so hard…and we both said , “My God, we are having a ‘moment‘!!”

My BIG moment turned into a few years of self-doubt, sad self-talk, and a strong dose of self-neglect. But in those hardest moments, through the times when I was certain I was all alone, God would reveal to me a precious friend who was also having his or her own moment. He placed in my life the people to hold me up…and at times, have me do the holding, even though I felt weak myself. God is funny like that…taking broken people and filling them up with just the right amount of strength at just the right time to be/say/do just the right thing. Dang, He is good.

I would tell you that my BIG moment has passed…and in many ways it has. But in some ways, it remains. Because…it’s a moment. It’s part of me, my story. A paragraph, or a page, in my story. A time when things are cloudy and confused, hard or painful. Then suddenly bright again. A breakthrough. A rising above. A moment of clarity…then some more confusion. Frustration. Heartbreak.

The moments seem to come and go…more go these days, whereas before they were more come. But here is what I know…the moments when I felt the most distant and confused, the most lost and hopeless…these were the moments when some of the most powerful words I know came whispered into my ear… “You are not alone”, always from a dear friend and my ever loyal, loving, faithful, you-can’t-phase-me-with-your-emotions husband.

You see, darling, we are ALL having a moment. Our own mind-racing, self-talking, overwhelming, what next, I-didn’t-think-I-would-feel-this-way moment at any given time. So, grace, my friends. Love, my people. Hope, my world. It’s a New Year. But it’s the same old us. We are ALL having our moments…and we are all going to be OK…we are all sorting it out…and wether we feel it deeply or not, the truth is…we are not alone in our moments.

Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.