Let’s talk about The Bag. The hand/purse/satchel/work/weekender/lunch/tote/gym bag. The wristlet/cross-body/shoulder/back-pack bag. I have leather and canvas; nylon and vinyl. I have bags with pockets and those without; bags with zippers and open top buckets. I have brown and navy; black, taupe and tan; pink and red. I have a bag for everyday and one for vacations. I have a bag for the beach and one for the mountains.

I have a bag that holds the bags.

What. Is. The. Deal?

I am seemingly always on the hunt for the perfect bag. The one that can get me through a 24-hour call and the one that can get me through a trip through the mall. And trust me, those are not the same bag. Everyday, I leave the house carrying 4 bags. That’s right. 4. One for my gym/overnight clothes, including clean socks and underwear for the nights I am on call. One for my food (I pack all my food…if you miss dinner while you are in the OR, it’s peanut butter and graham crackers from the nurses station or starve…). One for my computer/journals/books. And my purse. I look ridiculous schlepping into the hospital. But it’s a well researched, long trusted system for me. It works.

I go back and forth about the amount of money I should spend on a bag…while I was a resident I had a strict rule that I would never spend more money on a purse than I had the cash to carry in it…which left me squarely in the clearance section of Target. But don’t knock it, I have some of the cutest bags, some of my favorites, following that rule.

After I finished residency, I treated myself to a “nice” designer bag to the tune of $350 or so. It lasted two years. I just donated it to Goodwill. It didn’t make me feel special or important. It didn’t hold up much better than the $30 gems. It had a sweet little symbol on the side…but it didn’t serve me any better than any other bag.

The last two bags…one was too small and the shoulder strap too long; one was too big and lost it’s shape immediately and I was constantly fighting it to stand up. So I just bought a new bag. And it’s incredible! Guys…you have to have this bag!! It’s the exact right size, it’s soft leather, it has the right amount of pockets and it cost me somewhere between the Target clearance rack and a designer model requiring a personal loan to secure. It’s prefect!! For now…

All of this consternation about The Bag has made me evaluate the contents of The Bag. What is it that I find so essential that I have to have with me at all times? All you folks who can get by with your little bracelet of a bag that holds your ID and some lip gloss…well, bless your heart! When I dump out my bag, I find much more…

You can read my mind by the bag over my shoulder. You can see that I derive security from the contents of my bag…the stack of store loyalty cards to save the 5%, the make up bag with extra lip gloss and hand lotion and nail clippers….just in case. You can see that I desire control with the bags of snacks and neatly packed lunch and dinner that I bring with me to work. I want to eat what I want, when I want, even if clinical duties keep me from the cafeteria. You can see my values by the compulsion to bring a set of work out clothes everyday…just in case I have time to run to the gym. You can see my heart…

Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

The things that I can’t let go…all of the trinkets and do-dads that I insist on carrying with me…they are my treasures…and the window into my heart. As I enter this season with my new bag, which is smaller than my old one, I had to give up a few things. Taking a look at my treasures and rethinking The Bag gave me a pause, to think about this…and things more meaningful. Am I keeping too much, promoting my anxious tendencies? Am I hoping too much, for time to do things that I really don’t have to do? Am I diverting too much energy and money away from things that matter. How much do I really need? What is my treasure…where is my heart….

Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.