It’s the awkward week between Christmas and New Year’s. The kids are home, my husband took the week off, family and friends have been in and out. Months ago, as my partner was making the call schedule, he asked each of us to list the days we wanted off. I put in my request to have this week free, knowing that several other partners would do the same, and that I probably would end up with at least one call. But as it turned out, we apparently all asked for slightly different days, so I ended up with a clear schedule for almost a week.

On Tuesday, the 26th, I woke up with plans to go into work and check my email, maybe work on the presentation I have to give in a few weeks; maybe dash over to the gym. But the little voice in my head scolded me, saying, “Now why would you go into work when you asked for and got these days off? Why would you have crushed yourself, and the family, for a 10 day stretch full of in-house call and obligatory dinners and parties only to turn around and go right back at it while the family is home?” The snooze button won.

This space between week has given my sister-in-law the rare chance to come hang out with us. She’s the cool one. No spouse or kids. Just a nervous but adorable dog. She is young and in-the-know…she gets up early to eat breakfast with the kids, gets on the ground to play games with them, challenges them to foosball tournaments and then stays up late to have a drink with us. She loves to spoil them, but understands they don’t need one more thing…they need her. And us. And an experience during this space. For Christmas, she gave us an afternoon at the Breakout Escape Room, instead of stuff. Well, played, Aunt Katie. Very well-played.

This week is the space between. The rules at home only loosely apply…I think jammies have been changed at least one, teeth brushed probably at least twice. The basement and bedrooms are disheveled and we have reached ludicrous levels of screen time. And I’m not gonna lie. This girl here is so driven by schedules and to-do lists and checklists and organization. The lazy days and messy house, the unexplainable exponentially loud volume emanating from the basement, the pile of coats and shoes at the back door…it gives me some anxiety. I feel unsettled.

I hit the snooze button again the next day, feeling a little guilty for not showing my face at work. Until I read the tweet of a colleague who honestly, bitterly revealed his heartbreak at having to leave his family yet again for another night on call. A wave of peace and gratitude washed over me as I ached for him…because I have been there too many times, and now here I am with the space I asked for….I cannot lose these moments! I got on the floor and played card games and board games with my kids; I gave them extra candy and gingerly stepped over the dirty socks and strewn about Lego’s as I crawled into bed with my husband. This space between is precious time, all too often for me it’s unspoken unsettled time, but this is where we must learn to live, and embrace and thrive. These are the spaces that slip away while we aren’t watching…while we are working…while we are preparing for the next holiday…where we are reaching for what we don’t have, missing what is right in front of us. These spaces are where we live as parents, and spouses; friends, and colleagues. The regular time. The down time. All of the space that isn’t The Big Event Time. These are the mundane tough spaces...but dare I say, the spaces that matter the most.

Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.